Desire.

One of the first misconceptions I can remember regarding God had to do with desire. Somehow, I had come to believe that God was happiest with me when there was nothing I wanted too strongly. And, if there was something I wanted, I was sure God would give me the opposite or take away the opportunity. Sadly, I don’t think I am the only person who experienced this.

I remember worriedly avoiding prayers for girlfriends or good grades or a cool vacation; I was convinced that if I voiced anything that I wanted badly, God would do the exact opposite to “teach me a lesson”. I would try and calm myself down about things that excited me because I didn’t want God to find out.

In college I went to a Christian organization on campus, and the leader of the group believed this same thing – with a little twist. He always said that God worked best when people were out of their comfort zone. So, all of the leaders in the group were working in less than obvious fits. The nerdy, shy leader was doing outreach in the wildest dorm on campus. The music leader couldn’t sing. The bubbly chearleaderish girl was leading Bible studies in the astrophysics department. And it was all summed up in the leader himself: a driven, programmatic, success-oriented man who was leading a college group at a college full of hippies. The only sport we took seriously was ultimate Frisbee.

But, what I’m coming to recognize is that God is in the business of satisfying desires after all. Listen to this Psalm of David:

¹ Praise the LORD, O my soul;
all my inmost being, praise his holy name.

² Praise the LORD, O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits-

³ who forgives all your sins
and heals all your diseases,

⁴ who redeems your life from the pit
and crowns you with love and compassion,

⁵ who satisfies your desires with good things
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's. (Psalm 103)

If David was telling the truth, God delights in our desires. Our desires are what make us human, and our desires ultimately lead us to God. Share the things that excite you in prayer, because God wants to participate with you in it. Do the things you are passionate about, because God wants to use them. Thomas Merton put it this way:

“But if you want to identify me, ask me not where I live, or what I like to eat, or how I comb my hair, but ask me what I think I am living for, in detail, and ask me what I think is keeping me from living fully for the thing I want to live for. Between these two answers you can determine the identity of any person. The better the answer he has, the more of a person he is.”

I think if we’re honest, many of our desires don’t look God friendly. Desires for sex, money, and power sure don’t. But, rather than running from the less than pretty desires, pretending you don’t have them, or hiding them from God, take some time to look a few layers deeper.

The reason God satisfies desires is because, ultimately, all desires lead back to Him – even desires for sex, money, power, and all the rest. The truth of this will be a few layers beneath the desire to give the bird to that driver on the freeway – but it’s worth exploring if you also desire God. So, what do you desire?

-Andrew